Category Archives: Word Whoring

How to Make Shredder Paper Look More Interesting

I was a writer. Now I’m just a glorified spam bot making articles for people who are to lazy to make their own.

If you’ve written many an article about Dishwashing Liquid and Home Security Systems for an easy buck or two, you’ll probably find this post most helpful.

In this blog post, I will teach you how to get around boring yourself to death by putting new twists into your cash cow. Just because you’re writing about an absolutely droll topic doesn’t mean you can’t give it a good citrus-y flavor to it.

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Writing for a Living

I am in college. I have needs that my meager allowance from my conservative and strict parents just won’t cover. BUT! I have found a way to exploit my talent for BS.

This being my first post, I think it is more than appropriate to write about what I write about*. Basically I just write really boring, droll, mindless, vapid, senseless, vacuous SEO articles for a few bucks a piece to fund my incessant need of Wendy’s Baconators, cigarettes, coffee, sprouting alcoholism, gym fees, rent and basically everything else my parents don’t pay for.

It’s a “fun” and thankless job, especially if you’re writing for other people (which I’m only doing until I get my act together), but it is pretty easy. So easy in fact, that most lazy slobs like me can start at any point in their life and make a quick hundred in a week.

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A Truthful Poem Is

The process of writing is no complicated science. I believe that a poem that is a poem should be just a poem and that is all.

Writing, in its entirety, should not be limited to “rules” that have been drawn by robed men that are accustomed to sodomizing their students. I am not saying, however, that these men are less respectable, credit should be given to whom it is due. I do, however, believe that a person’s style of writing should not be limited to tradition. The context of a writer’s work should not be limited to just the context of the society he or she is living in, but it should be a well-written, sincere attempt of expression. It does not have to have been a product of an epiphany nor should it be required to be useful and instructional. A poem should be beautiful on its own. If in case it is not a very well-written poem (who are we to judge how well-written a poem is?) then it is a poem that is beautiful in its being. A poem should not attempt to speak out yet fail to say what it wants to, it should be subtly blatant in such a way that it’s whole meaning simply IS. “A poem should be palpable and mute / as a globed fruit // dumb as old medallions to the thumb, // silent as the sleeve-worn stone/of casement ledges where the moss has grown//” A poem is still a poem even if it serves no obvious purpose because a poem’s only purpose is to be itself. It is and it is not a celebration of mundaneness and fascination. “A poem should be motionless in time/ as the moon climbs//” I believe in Ars Poetica by Archibald MacLeish. I believe that a poem, no matter how complicated it may seem, is truly simple if the emotions of the poem are absorbed by the reader. However, not all poems are emotional and dramatic. In this case, these poems may express opinions, political ideologies, exposition of injustices and such. These are truths that need not be dramatized for the sake of its dramatization, it shouldn’t have to have a purpose outside of itself, but a purpose for its own being only is purpose enough already.

A poem is what it should be and it shouldn’t be anything but a poem. “A poem should not mean/But be.//”*

*italicized lines are from the poem “Ars Poetica” by Archibald MacLeish