How to Make Shredder Paper Look More Interesting


I was a writer. Now I’m just a glorified spam bot making articles for people who are to lazy to make their own.

If you’ve written many an article about Dishwashing Liquid and Home Security Systems for an easy buck or two, you’ll probably find this post most helpful.

In this blog post, I will teach you how to get around boring yourself to death by putting new twists into your cash cow. Just because you’re writing about an absolutely droll topic doesn’t mean you can’t give it a good citrus-y flavor to it.

First tip I want to share is to keep it simple. Also because I hate that tip and I just wanted to get it out of the way.

Simple is easy but this also means failing to milk a topic for the wordcount that it could be worth. Since most people are looking to prioritize wordcount above actual quality — as opposed to respecting the art of writing and putting quality over quantity — it is important to know just how many adjectives you can use to describe the simple act of washing dishes. But simplicity does get your point across. This is important for articles that simply need you to outline lists, instructions, how-to’s, product descriptions… etc.

Scenario: Your assignment as a wordmill is to create five (5) different articles about the keyword Loofah (This happens quite often). You have to know exactly how to stretch out your words as much as you can while trying to make as much sense at you can.

From there we get the second tip: keep a thesaurus ready and waiting.

The Thesaurus will be your best friend and only lover for as long as it takes for you to realize that making keyword laden articles for a few scraps a piece is not really WRITING.

Oh how I wish I knew how to quit you…

The next two tips would be to try and relate whatever your writing about to a perspective most people can relate to — normal people who don’t give a flying f*** about what you’re trying to sell in the first place — and learning how to see a topic from all angles.

How do you do this? So your boss gives you a quota of ten articles revolving around the keywords “Velcro cable ties” (I’m speaking from experience here),  and by the third article you think you’ve exhausted everything there is to know about these things. “Oh no! It’s due in 2 hours!” You think to yourself. Take a look at what you’ve written, if it’s good enough, keep it in the stack. Seven more articles to go.

how to write SEO articles quickly - Spartacus and Solonius

if the crowd might want a head on a stick, you can write about how you decapitated it, how you skewered it, and even a recipe on corned head-on-a-stick

What you do is assign different angles for the remaining seven. Two of those can be focused on “How To” articles; two more can be about where to buy them, and the rest can be about how these things have helped mothers organize kitchens, yuppies who use them in their offices, fun do it yourself projects for hobbyists… you know, try and use a little common sense and think about who you’re writing about and make it about them — without forgetting those important keywords.

If there are clues as to who you might be writing for, chances are you can also find out who they’re marketing to. Keep this in mind when you’ve run out of ideas, know the crowd, give them what they want, and you’ll get more material for your remaining articles.

Seems easy right? It gets easier with practice, I promise you.

So to be clear, when writing SEO articles for blogs that will use your articles to increase page rank without giving you the literary credit due you, it’s best to keep things simple when needed; make love to your thesaurus; realize that you can relate almost all topics to almost anyone and anything and don’t forget your keywords!

This LOOOOOONNNNNGGG and HELPFUL list is to be continued!

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Posted on May 3, 2010, in How to, Word Whoring and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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